Openness and Honesty in Relationships
Communication in relationships, be they marriage, business, friendship, is so important. In fact it is the glue that holds this together. Communication enables us to understand our partner or colleague or friend.
An article caught my eye yesterday in the daily paper in which Marina Fogle emphasises the importance of working at the communication aspect of a marriage. With so many marriages breaking up, this is great advice.
She writes that couples should give their relationship a yearly MOT, much like what we have to do by law to our cars to make sure they are road worthy. This check-up consists of partners meeting with a Counsellor to vent their grievances if they have them and what could be done to enhance their relationship.
But, I hear people cry……………, you only go and see a Counsellor when something is wrong in your partnership or in your life. As they say: ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’.
But Mrs Fogle gives us such sound advice and I cannot recommend this highly enough.
Partners agreeing to open up during these sessions and air anything that has been held back will bring clarity and trust and enhancement to their relationship. For a couple that has few issues in their partnership, it can only cement the solid foundation they have and shows that they are eager to get things right and to work out how to improve their relationship even more. After all, a relationship is about each partner allowing the other to grow and so often the breakdown of a partnership is caused by inequality.
Relationships can often be one-sided where one partner makes all the decisions which can lead to resentment, if not challenged, and corrodes the trust that is at the basis of all relationships in the first place.
This yearly practice would also help couples who are planning a family to ensure that any issues that cannot be foreseen can be discussed.
Fathers often feel pushed out when children arrive because a baby can become an all-consuming task for the mother with little time to spend together as a couple. The focus has shifted for the mother and initially at least life revolves around the little person.
This was brought home to me during a discussion with a friend’s husband who addressed this very issue. During a visit with this friend and her husband, another friend who was present, complained about her husband not giving her the necessary support after the children had arrived. The man in question highlighted that this husband might have felt pushed aside and my friend had to admit that this could have been the reason. She did have several light-bulb moments.
So good communication is key in every area where we are dealing with people. So many problems could be avoided if there was openness, understanding and trust and these can only be achieved through honest discussion and the right interaction.
Source: Marina Fogle, The Daily Telegraph, Saturday 28.03.15